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When Wang Zijing was a few years old, he watched his fellow students playing Chupu. When he saw that there was a winner and a loser, he said, "The south wind does not compete." His disciples looked down on the boy and said, "This boy is also like looking at the leopard through a tube, and can only see a spot from time to time." Zi Jing glared at him and said, "I am ashamed of Xun Fengqian in the distance and Liu Zhenchang in the near!" Then he brushed his clothes and left.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Sun Xinggong served as a military officer of Yu Gong, and together they traveled to Baishishan. The Lord of Wei was present at the meeting. Sun said, "This boy has nothing to do with mountains and rivers, yet he can write essays." Lord Yu said, "Although the elegance of Wei is not as good as yours, his charm is not close either." Sun then followed his words.
When Wang Anqi was the governor of Donghai County, an official recorded a criminal coming at night. The king asked, "Where are you from?" He replied, "I just returned from receiving books from my teacher. I didn't realize it was getting late." The king said, "I'm trying to whip Ning Yue to establish my reputation, but I'm afraid this is not the right way to govern." He ordered an official to send him home.
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
A gentleman returns to the ancient times and never forgets where he was born. Therefore, he shows respect, expresses affection, and works hard to repay his parents, and dares not fail to do his best. Therefore, in the past, the emperor cultivated a thousand acres, wore a crown with red ribbons, and personally held a plow. The princes cultivated a hundred acres, wore a crown with blue ribbons, and personally held a plow to worship the heaven and earth, mountains and rivers, the altar, and the ancients, and made a rich variety of wine and cheese, and took them there, which was the highest respect.
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