长篇笑话故事大全500

Fighting for Love, My Wife, No Escape

Prime Minister Wang said: "I saw Xie Renzu sending someone to the throne. When he spoke to He Ci, he only raised his hand and pointed to the ground and said, 'It is from Er Xin!'"

Love marriage, I won't marry anyone but you

The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”

Rebirth down to earth

Ji Zhongsan was about to be executed in the East Market, but his expression remained unchanged. He asked for a zither and played Guangling San. At the end of the piece, he said, "Yuan Xiaoni once asked to learn this song, but I refused. Now Guangling San has been lost!" Three thousand students from the Imperial College wrote a letter to him, asking him to be their teacher, but he was not allowed. King Wen also regretted it.

The Great Son-in-Law

Taifu Xie respected Pushe Deng and often said, "Heaven and earth are ignorant and made Bo Dao childless."

Flower God has arrived, please accept the Hades

Flowers fall and eagle flies to the end of the sky

The military vehicles should not be in order. The military vehicles should be equipped with flags, and the virtuous vehicles should be tied with flags. History is recorded in writing, and scholars record words. If there is water in front, then carry a green flag. If there is dust in front, then carry a kite. If there are chariots and horses in front, then carry a flying goose. If there are judges in front, then carry a tiger skin. If there are beasts in front, then carry a pixiu. Line: Vermilion bird in front and black tortoise behind, blue dragon on the left and white tiger on the right. Show off above, and quickly control your anger. Advance and retreat with moderation, and have a plan on the left and right, each responsible for its own plan.