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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
The court talks about dogs and horses. If you stop the court and look back, there will be no unusual events, but there will be unusual concerns. Therefore, if you stop the court and look back, the gentleman calls it firm.
Xiahou Taichu once wrote while leaning against a pillar. It was raining heavily at the time, and a thunderbolt broke the pillar he was leaning against. His clothes were burnt, but his expression remained unchanged, and his book was also intact. The guests around were all stumbling and unable to stop.
To boil: Beat it, remove the wrinkles, weave the beef with reed cloth, sprinkle cinnamon and ginger on it, and salt it, and eat it dry. The same is true for sheep, and the same is true for elk, deer and roe deer. If you want to make the meat moist, then release it and fry it with minced meat. If you want to make the meat dry, then beat it and eat it.
General Wang said of the Grand Commandant: "He is like a pearl among the crowd, among the tiles and stones."
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