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He came over mountains and hills

Salted Fish Variety Show

Boss, your wife ran away with the baby

Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"

Exorcist

Xi Zaochi and Sun Xinggong had never met each other, but they sat together in the presence of Duke Huan. Huan said to Sun, "You can talk with General Xi." Sun said, "'You are stupid and barbaric, how dare you make an enemy of a great country?' Xi said, "'We will attack the Xianyun' as far as Taiyuan."

The cute imperial concubine: Your Majesty, you are deceiving me again

Someone asked whether Xie Anshi and Wang Tanzhi were superior to Duke Huan. Duke Huan stopped and was about to speak, then regretted and said, "You like to tell others what they say, so I cannot tell you again."

Mr. President, you kissed me again

He Yan and Deng Yang asked Guan Lu to make a hexagram, saying: "I wonder if the position will reach Three Dukes?" After the hexagram was made, Lu quoted the ancient meaning and took it as a deep warning. Yang said, "This is what old people always say." Yan said, "How amazing! The ancients thought it was difficult. Today, people think it is difficult to be sincere in communication. Now you have achieved two difficult things at the same time. You can be called 'the bright virtue is fragrant'. Doesn't the poem say, 'Hide it in your heart, how can you forget it?'"