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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Wang Pingzi was fourteen or fifteen years old, he saw that Wang Yifu's wife, Guo, was greedy and asked her maid to collect dung on the road. Pingzi advised him against it, but he said it was not possible. Guo was furious and said to Pingzi, "When the lady was dying, she entrusted the young man to her new wife, not the new wife to the young man!" He quickly grabbed the hem of his clothes and was about to hit him with a stick. Pingzi struggled hard and managed to break free, then escaped through the window.
Wang Ziyou once stayed temporarily in someone else's empty house and asked him to plant bamboo. Someone asked, "Why do you bother to stay here for a while?" Wang Xiao chanted for a long time, pointed to the bamboo and said, "How can I live without you for even a day?"
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
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