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Han Kangbo and Xie Xuan did not have a deep relationship. After Xuan's expedition to the north, people on the street suspected that he would not be able to recover. Kang Bo said, "This man loves fame, so he must be good at fighting." Xuan was very angry when he heard this, and often said in front of the crowd with a stern face, "A man who leads a thousand soldiers into a deadly situation to serve his lord and parents should not talk about fame anymore."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
Chen Taiqiu went to Xun Lang's mausoleum. He was poor and frugal and had no servants. He ordered Yuan Fang to drive the chariot, and Ji Fang to follow behind holding a staff. The long article is still small and can be put in the cart with chopsticks. When they arrived, Xun asked Shu Ci to answer the door. Ci Ming served wine, and the remaining six dragons came down to eat. Wen Ruo was also young, sitting with chopsticks on his knees. At that time, the historian reported: "The Immortal is traveling eastward."
There was a great famine in Qi, and Qian Ao prepared food on the road for the hungry to eat. A hungry man came in a hurry with his sleeves and shoes covered. Qian Ao held food in his left hand and drink in his right hand, saying, "Come and eat." He looked at him with his eyes wide open, and said, "I only don't eat food brought by whining, so I have come to this." Then he thanked him; he died without eating. Zengzi heard about it and said, "Is it not true? His whining can be left, and his apology can be eaten."
When a person dies, the body is moved to the bed, the quilt is used to cover the body, and the death clothes are removed. The junior officials use a horn scoop to wed the teeth and a swallow table to sew the feet. The king, the senior official, and the scholar are the same.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
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