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Wei Junchang was the chief secretary of Duke Wen, and Duke Wen liked him very much. They would always bring wine and dried meat to Wei, and sit cross-legged facing each other all day long. When Wei went to Wen and Xu, it was the same.
When Confucius arrived at his house, he felt sorry for the mansion. When he heard this, he became more faithful in his words and more righteous in his actions: "I will never dare to joke about Confucianism until I die."
When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
He Yan, Deng Yang and Xiahou Xuan all asked Fu Gu to make friends with them, but Gu finally refused. Everyone then united them based on Xun Can's advice and said to Gu, "Xiahou Taichu was an outstanding man of his time and was humble towards you, but you have the opposite intention. If you get along with him, things will go well, but if you don't, there will be rifts. If the two virtuous people are like Mu, the country will be at peace. This is why Lin Xiangru put Lian Po below him." Fu said, "Xiahou Taichu has great ambitions and is hardworking. He is able to win false praise. He is truly a man who can ruin a country with his eloquence. He Yan and Deng Yang are ambitious but impetuous, knowledgeable but not particular, greedy on the outside but indifferent on the inside, they value similarities and hate differences, they talk a lot and are jealous. They talk a lot and are provocative, and they are jealous and have no friends. In my opinion, these three virtuous people are all corrupt people! Even if you keep them at a distance, you may suffer disaster, let alone those who are approachable?" Later, all of them turned out as he said.
When the general Wang came down, Duke Yu asked, "You have four friends, who are they?" They replied, "Your family's Zhonglang, my family's Taiwei, A Ping, and Hu Wu Yanguo. Therefore A Ping should be the worst." Yu said, "It seems he is not willing to be inferior." Yu asked again, "Who is on his right?" The king said, "There is someone." He asked again, "Who is it?" The king said, "Ah! He has his own opinion." The people on both sides urged the duke to stop.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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