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The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
The host and the guest symbolize heaven and earth; the host and the guest symbolize yin and yang; the three guests symbolize the three lights; the three of them symbolize the three days of the moon; the four sides of the seat symbolize the four seasons.
When mourning clothes are not yet complete, if there are condolences, then the person will cry, bow and dance for the position. When a senior official mourns for a senior official, he should wear a veil and mourning clothes; when a senior official participates in a funeral, he should also wear a veil and mourning clothes. If a senior official has a private funeral, then he should wear a veil and mourning clothes for his brother's minor funeral.
When Taifu Xie was sailing eastward, a villain was guiding the boat, sometimes slowing down, sometimes speeding up, sometimes stopping, sometimes waiting, and also letting the boat go sideways, causing it to hit people and crash into the shore. The Duke did not reprimand him at first. People say that you are never angry or happy. I once accompanied my brother on his return from a funeral in the west. It was a rainy day and we were all drunk, so I couldn't do anything about it. The Duke then took the carriage pillar and hit the driver with a very loud and fierce sound. Water is calm and gentle in nature, but it rushes violently when it enters a narrow passage. The local people are well aware that in a remote and isolated place, it is impossible to preserve their purity.
The funeral of the deceased below the standard of mourning is not allowed: first go to the tomb, face west and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, face east, take the throne, cry and dance with the host, and then take the throne. If there is a guest, the host will bow to the guest and see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him as before. The attendant will tell them that the matter is over. Then he will wear a crown and go home, enter the door on the left, face north and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off. After crying again, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance; after crying for the third time, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, The lord of the house reported that the matter was completed.
It is the festival of a boy. The black cloth clothes are brocade-edged, the brocade belt, and the button brocade, and the hair is all red brocade. Boys do not wear fur or silk, shoes or silk, and do not wear mourning clothes. Listening to affairs does not require hemp. If there is no business, he will stand to the north of the host and see the teacher enter with others. Those who serve food to the teacher with different titles will offer sacrifices later and eat first. When the guest offers sacrifices, the host declines and says, "It is not enough to offer sacrifices." When the guest eats, the host declines with a sparse. If the host prepares his own sauce, the guest will clean it himself. In a room, one person who is not a guest should clean up. In a meal, one person should clean up. In banquets, women should not clean up. When eating dates, peaches, and plums, do not take the core. When offering melons, throw away the rings in the middle of the food. Those who eat fruits should eat after the gentlemen, and those who light the fire should eat before the gentlemen. In celebrations, do not congratulate unless the king gives gifts. Confucius ate at Ji's house, and did not refuse. He did not eat meat and ate.
In mourning, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the same age, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the scholar, one should not eat for one day. Therefore, in the funeral of parents, after the funeral, one should eat porridge, and in the morning, one should spill one rice, and no one should spill one rice; in mourning of the same age, one should eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat soy sauce; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not drink sweet wine. This is the expression of grief in food and drink.
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