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The host does not personally accept it. When receiving, he stands up, and when giving, he does not sit down. There are those who are upright in nature. When entering and saying goodbye, he says: "I say goodbye". When sitting, he says: "It's OK". There is only one person who puts up his shoes and puts on his shoes in the house. If there is an elder present, it is not OK. When asking about taste, he says: "Do you eat so and so?" When asking about the art of Taoism, he says: "Are you accustomed to so and so?" "Are you good at so and so?" Do not doubt yourself, do not measure the tools of the people, do not be reluctant to the big family, and do not criticize the heavy tools. Sweeping is called sweeping, and sweeping in front of the mat is called fighting; the mat is not to be beaten with a mane. Hold the dustpan and hold the hair. Do not ask twice. When asking about divination, he says: "Is it righteousness? Is it will?" If it is righteous, you can ask, but if it is will, you can't.
Yin Zhongkan's father was ill and suffered from palpitations. He heard ants moving under his bed and thought it was a fight between bulls. Xiaowu did not know that it was the Duke of Yin, so he asked Zhongkan, "Is there a Yin who is so sick?" Zhongkan burst into tears and stood up, saying, "I only know how to advance and retreat."
Meng Wannian and his younger brother were orphaned at a young age and lived in Yangxin County, Wuchang. Wannian traveled around and was famous in his time, but he was orphaned and had never left the house. People in the capital wanted to see him, so they sent a letter to the orphan, saying, "My brother is seriously ill." Arrived in the capital in a panic. All the wise men of the time who saw him sighed and said to each other, "If a young orphan is like this, he will die in ten thousand years."
When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
Zhuge Liang later entered Jin and was appointed Grand Marshal, but he could not be summoned. Because he had a feud with the Jin Dynasty, he always sat with his back to the Luo River. She was an old acquaintance of Emperor Wu, and the emperor wanted to see her but had no way to do so, so he asked Concubine Zhuge to call Liang. When she arrived, the emperor met with the concubine dowager. After the ceremony and when they were drunk, the emperor said, "Do you still remember our childhood friendship?" Liang said, "I cannot bear to see my body covered in charcoal and lacquer. Today I see your holy face again." He burst into tears. The emperor then left in shame and regret.
When Xie Wan went on the northern expedition, he often whistled and sang to show off his superiority, and never tried to comfort his soldiers. Xie Gong loved Wan very much, but he knew that he would definitely fail, so he went with him. Congrong said to Wan: "You are the marshal, you should invite the generals to banquets more often to win their hearts." Wan followed his advice. He summoned all the generals, but none of them said anything. He just pointed at the four people sitting around him and said, "You are all strong soldiers." The generals were very angry. In order to express his gratitude and trust, Mr. Xie personally visited everyone from the captain of the army to the commander-in-chief and expressed his sincere gratitude. When everything went wrong, the army wanted to get rid of him. He then said, "I should become a hermit." So fortunately he was spared.
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
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