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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
When the stable burned, Confucius bowed to the villagers who came to the fire. He bowed once, and the officials twice. It is also the way to express condolences. Confucius said: "Guan Zhong encountered thieves and took two people with him. The king made them public officials and said: "The people he played with are good people!" After Guan Zhong died, Duke Huan made him mourn for him. The practice of officials mourning for officials started from Guan Zhong, and it was ordered by the king."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Zhou Pushe was a man of graceful appearance and good manners. When he went to see the prince, he hid himself among a few people at first, and the prince looked at him with a smile. After sitting down, he whistled and chanted proudly. The prince asked, "Do you want to be like Ji and Ruan?" He replied, "How dare I stay close to you and be far away from Ji and Ruan!"
There was a great famine in Qi, and Qian Ao prepared food on the road for the hungry to eat. A hungry man came in a hurry with his sleeves and shoes covered. Qian Ao held food in his left hand and drink in his right hand, saying, "Come and eat." He looked at him with his eyes wide open, and said, "I only don't eat food brought by whining, so I have come to this." Then he thanked him; he died without eating. Zengzi heard about it and said, "Is it not true? His whining can be left, and his apology can be eaten."
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