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The minister is the upper host, the minister is the successor host, and the scholar is the successor host. The king and his personal etiquette for guests, the guests meet privately, meet privately, offer food and drink, return the jade and jade, give bribes, and feast, so as to show the righteousness between the guests and the king and the ministers.
Emperor Ming of Wei built a house for his grandmother at the Zhen family. After it was completed, he went to inspect it and asked his attendants, "What should we name the pavilion?" The attendant Miao Xi said, "Your Majesty is as wise as the wise king; and more virtuous than Zeng and Min. The establishment of this pavilion is a tribute to your uncle, so it should be named 'Weiyang'."
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
The Master said: “A mean man drowns in water, a gentleman drowns in his mouth, and a great man drowns in the people, all because of what they despise. Water is close to people and drowns them; virtue is easy to get close to but difficult to get close to, so it is easy to drown people; talking is tedious and annoying, easy to speak but difficult to regret, so it is easy to drown people; people are closed to people and have contemptuous hearts, they should be respected but not ignored, so they are easy to drown people. Therefore, a gentleman should not be careless. Taijia said: ‘Do not go beyond your destiny and overturn yourself; if you are afraid of the trap, go and review your measures and you will be released. ’Dui Ming said: ‘Only the mouth causes shame, only armor causes war, only clothes are in the box, and only weapons are used to review one’s body. ’Taijia said: ‘The evil of heaven can be disobeyed; the evil of oneself cannot be avoided. '"Yin Ji" says: "Yin is the one who respects the heaven, and is seen in Xiyi; Xia has an end since Zhou, and Xiang has also ended. '"
Taiwei Wang said: "I see that Pei Linggong is smart and bright, surpassing others, and has extraordinary wisdom. If he can be revived after death, I will die with him." Some people said it was Wang Rong's words.
Zhou Pushe was a man of graceful appearance and good manners. When he went to see the prince, he hid himself among a few people at first, and the prince looked at him with a smile. After sitting down, he whistled and chanted proudly. The prince asked, "Do you want to be like Ji and Ruan?" He replied, "How dare I stay close to you and be far away from Ji and Ruan!"
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Meng Jia of Wuchang was an official of Yu Taiwei and was already well-known. Taifu Zhu had the ability to judge people. After leaving Yuzhang, he returned and passed by Wuchang. He asked Yu, "I heard that Meng Congshi is good. Is he here now?" Yu said, "You can go and find him yourself." Zhu stared at him for a long time, pointed at Jia and said, "This man is a little different. Could he be the right one?" Yu laughed and said, "Yes!" At that time, he admired Zhu's insight and was also happy that Jia appreciated him.
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