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When the senior officials meet the king, the king shall bow to him. When the scholars meet the senior officials, the senior officials shall bow to him. When the same country meets for the first time, the host shall bow to him. The king shall not return the bow to the scholars; if they are not his subjects, they shall return the bow. The ministers, even if they are lowly, must return the greetings.
Xie Gong praised Lantian: "Every skin is genuine."
Bian Wenli lost his composure when meeting Yuan Fenggao. Feng Gao said, "When Emperor Yao invited Xu You, he showed no shame. Why are you wearing your clothes upside down?" Wen Li replied, "Your Excellency has just arrived, and Emperor Yao's virtue is not yet well known, so the lowly people are wearing their clothes upside down."
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
After Confucius was buried in Fang, he said: "I have heard that in ancient times, there were tombs but no graves; now there are mounds, and people from all directions can be recognized." So he sealed it and made it four feet high.
The mourning clothes for the deceased are three liters, and after the mourning period, six liters of cloth and seven liters of cap are given; for the mother, four liters of mourning clothes for the deceased are given, seven liters of cloth and eight liters of cap are given. Remove the hemp and wear kudzu, and wear a three-layered kudzu belt. When the time comes for a minor funeral, wear a lanyard cap with a lanyard, but do not remove the sash. Men remove the head, and women remove the sash. Why do men remove the head? Why do women remove the sash? Men focus on the head, and women focus on the sash. Those who remove the heavy clothes first, and those who change clothes change to the light clothes. When the time comes for a major funeral, wear plain white and linen clothes. In the middle of the month, mourning is performed, and the mourning period is light, and everything is worn.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
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