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Wang Gong was with his father in Kuaiji, and Wang Dazi also came to pay homage to his father's tomb. Gong went to the tomb to see them for a while. The two men were on good terms with each other, so he returned after more than ten days. The father asked Gong, "Why did you take so many days?" He replied, "I was talking to A Da, and he was so busy that he couldn't go home." The father then said to him, "I'm afraid A Da is not your friend." In the end, they became friends, and it turned out to be just as he said.
Liu Ling was always indulging in drinking and being unrestrained. Sometimes he would take off his clothes and walk naked in the house, and people would laugh at him. Ling said: "I use the heaven and earth as my building, and my house as my clothes. Why do you want to enter my army?"
The record of the crown prince says: When he arrives at the door of the great bedroom in the morning and evening, he asks the eunuch: "How are you today?" The eunuch says: "Today is good." The crown prince will be happy. If there is something wrong, the eunuch will tell the crown prince, and the crown prince will look worried and dissatisfied. The eunuch says "return to the beginning", and then he will return to the beginning. When the food is served in the morning and evening, the crown prince must be there to check the cold and warm. After the food is served, ask what is delicious. He must know what is served, and order the chef to take care of it, and then leave. If the eunuch says "illness", the crown prince will take care of it in person. The food prepared by the chef must be looked at with respect; the medicine for illness must be tasted personally. If the food is good, the prince can eat it; if the food is poor, the prince cannot be full; until it returns to the original state, then it will return to the original state.
The Son of Heaven is equal to Heaven and Earth. Therefore, virtue matches heaven and earth, and benefits all things. It is as bright as the sun and the moon, illuminating the four seas without leaving out the small. In the court, the order of benevolence, holiness, propriety and righteousness is followed; in banquets, the music of Ya and Song is listened to; when walking, there is the sound of rings and pendants; when riding in a car, there is the sound of phoenixes and harmonious birds. There is propriety in residence, and there is moderation in advance and retreat. All officials are in their proper place, and all things are in their proper order. The Book of Songs says: "A virtuous man and a gentleman, his etiquette is not wrong. If his etiquette is not wrong, it will be the right way for the four countries." This is what it means. When the people are pleased with orders and decrees, it is called harmony; when the upper and lower are close to each other, it is called benevolence; when the people get what they want without asking for it, it is called trust; and when the harm of heaven and earth is removed, it is called righteousness. Righteousness and trustworthiness, harmony and benevolence are the tools of a hegemon. If there is the intention to govern the people but there is no tool, it will not work.
Emperor Wu of Wei once passed by the Cao'e stele, and Yang Xiu followed him. On the back of the stele there was an inscription of eight characters: "young woman with yellow silk, grandson Jue". Wei Wu asked Xiu, "Do you understand it?" Xiu replied, "I understand." Wei Wu said, "You can't tell me yet. Let me think about it." After walking for thirty miles, Wei Wu said, "I have figured it out." He asked Xiu to write down what he had learned. Xiu said: "Yellow silk is colored silk, and the word for it is absolutely perfect. Young woman is a young girl, and the word for it is wonderful. Grandson is a girl, and the word for it is good. Juejiu is suffering, and the word for it is words. This is what is called 'absolutely wonderful and good words'." Wei Wu also memorized it, and he agreed with Xiu, so he sighed and said: "I am not as talented as you, and I feel thirty miles behind."
Han Kang's aunt Yin followed Sun Huizhi to Hengyang and met Huan Nanjun in Heluzhou. Bian Ju was his grandson and came to inquire about his life from time to time. He said to Ju: "If I don't die, I will see this guy become a thief for the second time!" After several years in Hengyang, Huizhi encountered the disaster of Huan Jingzhen. Yin stroked his corpse and cried, "Your father was dismissed from Yuzhang, and the conscription letter was sent out in the morning and evening. You left the county for several years, and you were unable to move because of things, and then you were caught in the disaster. What else can I say?"
Xi Jiabin said to Xie Gong: "Although I did not kneel down to talk deeply, my thoughts were profound." He also said: "Youjun visited Jiabin." Jiabin heard it and said: "They cannot be called visits, but they can be called friends!" Xie Gong thought Jiabin's words were right.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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