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The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
Le Ling's daughter married General Wang Ying of Chengdu. The king's brother, the King of Changsha, held power in Luo, and they began to plot against each other. The King of Changsha is close to villains and stays away from gentlemen. Everyone in the court is afraid of danger. After Le magistrate had agreed to the emperor's wishes and had relatives in marriage, a group of petty people started to slander him in Changsha. Changsha once asked Le Ling, who looked calm and answered slowly, "Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?" From then on, he felt relieved and had no more doubts.
The Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淲hen a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. 鈥漈he Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by completing his parents?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淎 gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents鈥 name!鈥 Confucius then said, 鈥淚n ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.鈥
Wang Ziyou left the capital and was still at the foot of the islet. I had heard before that Huan Ziye was good at playing the flute, but we didn't know each other. The king met Huan passing by on the shore while he was in the boat. A passenger who recognized him said, "This is Huan Ziye." The king then sent someone to tell him, "I heard that you are good at playing the flute. Please try to play it for me." Huan was already noble and prominent at that time. He had always heard of the king's name, so he got off the car, sat on a Hu bed, and played three tunes for him. After finishing, he got in the car. The host and the guest did not exchange a single word.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When there is a funeral, if you hear of the funeral of a distant brother, you must go even if you are in mourning; if you are not a brother, you will not go even if you are a neighbor. All the brothers who do not live together will pay their respects. The emperor's coffin has four layers; the water rhinoceros leather coffin is covered with it, which is three inches thick, one 鏉 coffin, two 鏉 coffins, and all four are round. The coffin is tied with two 鏉 three, and each 琛 is tied with one. The coffin of the uncle is six feet long at the end.
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