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Someone asked: "What is a cane?" The answer is: bamboo and tung are the same. So for the father, a cane is made of bamboo; for the mother, a cane is made of tung.
Sima Huan was ill. Xie Gong went to visit his sick father and entered through the east gate. Duke Huan looked at him from a distance and sighed, "It has been a long time since I have seen such a man among my followers!"
Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
Therefore, in ancient times, women were married for three months before the ancestral temple was destroyed. They were taught in the palace, and after the ancestral temple was destroyed, they were taught in the clan, and taught about women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's achievements. After the teaching was completed, fish was used as the sacrifice, and it was stir-fried with duckweed, so that women were obedient.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
In ancient times, the emperor established six palaces, three wives, nine concubines, twenty-seven wives, and eighty-one imperial wives to listen to the internal governance of the world and to show the obedience of women; therefore, the world was harmonious and the family was orderly. The emperor established six officials, three dukes, nine ministers, twenty-seven great officials, and eighty-one nobles to listen to the external governance of the world and to clarify the male education of the world; therefore, the country is governed when the outside is harmonious. Therefore, it is said: The emperor listens to male education, and the queen listens to female obedience; the emperor manages the yang way, and the queen manages the yin virtue; the emperor listens to external governance, and the queen listens to internal duties. Teaching obedience becomes a custom, the outside and the inside are harmonious, and the country is governed, this is called great virtue.
Therefore, the emperor regulates the princes, making small betrothals every year and big betrothals every three years, and they are strict with each other. If the envoys make a mistake in the betrothal, the lord will not personally entertain them. This is to shame and encourage them. The princes are strict with each other, so they will not invade each other externally and bully each other internally. This is why the emperor nurtures the princes, so that the army is not used and the princes can be just.
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