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Emperor Wen once ordered the King of Dong'e to compose a poem within seven steps. If he failed, he would be punished. He immediately composed a poem: "Cook the beans and make soup, strain the beans to make juice. The firewood is burning under the pot, and the beans are crying in the pot. We are from the same root, why are we so eager to harm each other?" The emperor looked deeply ashamed.
Zilu said, "I heard from the Master that in funeral rituals, it is better to have more mourning than not mourning. In sacrificial rituals, it is better to have more respect than not respect."
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
Wei Jiangzhou is in Xunyang. Some people knew that an old friend had gone there, but they did not take care of him. They only gave him one pound of "Wangbuliuxing" as a reward. After receiving the supplies, this man ordered his carriage to proceed. Li Hongfan heard about it and said, "My uncle is mean and he is using plants and trees as slaves."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
When General Wang first wanted to go to the capital to make the arrangements, he sent a military officer to report to the court and to recommend the wise men of the time. Before Zu's cavalry arrived in Shouchun, he glared at his messenger and said in a stern voice, "You tell Ahei: How dare you be disrespectful! Hurry up and leave. If you don't do so in a moment, I will lead three thousand soldiers to advance with spears and feet!" The king stopped when he heard this.
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