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Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
The Master said: “A mean man drowns in water, a gentleman drowns in his mouth, and a great man drowns in the people, all because of what they despise. Water is close to people and drowns them; virtue is easy to get close to but difficult to get close to, so it is easy to drown people; talking is tedious and annoying, easy to speak but difficult to regret, so it is easy to drown people; people are closed to people and have contemptuous hearts, they should be respected but not ignored, so they are easy to drown people. Therefore, a gentleman should not be careless. Taijia said: ‘Do not go beyond your destiny and overturn yourself; if you are afraid of the trap, go and review your measures and you will be released. ’Dui Ming said: ‘Only the mouth causes shame, only armor causes war, only clothes are in the box, and only weapons are used to review one’s body. ’Taijia said: ‘The evil of heaven can be disobeyed; the evil of oneself cannot be avoided. '"Yin Ji" says: "Yin is the one who respects the heaven, and is seen in Xiyi; Xia has an end since Zhou, and Xiang has also ended. '"
When Zhong Yu brothers were young, their father took a nap during the day, so they secretly drank medicinal wine together. His father woke up at the time and pretended to sleep to watch. Yu bowed before drinking, and drank together without bowing. Then he asked Yu why he bowed, Yu said: "Wine is the rite, I dare not not bow." He asked Hui why he did not bow, Hui said: "Stealing is not rite, so I do not bow."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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