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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
When he descends, he puts on his shoes and sits, and he has countless cups. The etiquette of drinking is not abandoned in the morning and in the evening. When the guest leaves, the host bows and sees him off, and the etiquette is finally completed. I know that he can make the banquet peaceful and not chaotic.
When Zhi Daoling returned to the east, the wise men of the time saw him off at Zhenglu Pavilion. Cai Zishu came forward and sat close to Lin Gong. Xie Wanshi came later and sat a little far away. Cai got up temporarily, and Xie moved to his place. When Cai returned, he saw Xie there. He folded the mattress, lifted Xie up and threw him to the ground, then sat down again. He thanked the emperor for taking off his hat and cap, then slowly stood up, straightened his clothes and sat down on the mat. He looked very calm and not angry or frustrated at all. After sitting down, he said to Cai, "You are a strange man, and you may ruin my reputation." Cai replied, "I don't care about your reputation." After that, neither of them minded.
Yin Zhongjun said to Han Taichang: "Kang Bo has always been a proud figure since he was young, but he is actually a leader among his peers. When he speaks, his words are often full of emotion."
At the funeral of Sikou Huizi, Ziyou prepared hemp mourning clothes and hemp sash for him. Wen Zi declined, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "It is the rite." Wen Zi retreated and cried again. Ziyou hurried to the seats of the ministers. Wen Zi declined again, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "I insist on asking." Wen Zi retreated, helped Shi Zi to stand facing south, and said, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you not return to your position?" Ziyou hurried to the guest seat. At the funeral of General Wenzi, after the mourning period was over, the people of Yue came to offer their condolences. The host wore a deep robe and a white cap, waited in the temple, weeping. Ziyou looked at him and said, "General Wen's son is almost a commoner! He is a man of honor who died according to the etiquette, and his actions are in the right place."
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