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When Grand Tutor Xi was in Jingkou, he sent his disciples to write to Prime Minister Wang, asking for a son-in-law. The Prime Minister said to Xi Xin: "You can go to the east wing and choose anyone you like." The disciple returned and told Xi Xin: "The young men in the Wang family are all commendable. When they heard that you were looking for a son-in-law, they all behaved politely. Only one young man was lying on the bed with his belly exposed, as if he didn't hear anything." Xi Gong said: "This is exactly what we want!
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The Master said: “A ruler of a country should make clear what is good and what is bad, so as to show the people kindness, and then the people will not be double-minded. The Book of Songs says: ‘Be calm and share your position, and be good at being upright. ’” The Master said: “If the superior is suspicious, the people will be confused; if the subordinate is difficult to know, the ruler will be overworked. Therefore, a ruler who governs the people should make clear what is good to show the people, be careful of what is bad to prevent the people from being licentious, and then the people will not be confused. The ministers should follow the manners, not be heavy-handed, not support what they cannot do, and not bother what they do not know, and then the ruler will not be overworked. The Book of Songs says: ‘The God is strict, and the people are at peace. ’ The Xiaoya says: ‘It is not that they only share, but that the king is in harmony. ’”
When the general Wang came down, Duke Yu asked, "You have four friends, who are they?" They replied, "Your family's Zhonglang, my family's Taiwei, A Ping, and Hu Wu Yanguo. Therefore A Ping should be the worst." Yu said, "It seems he is not willing to be inferior." Yu asked again, "Who is on his right?" The king said, "There is someone." He asked again, "Who is it?" The king said, "Ah! He has his own opinion." The people on both sides urged the duke to stop.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
When Xiahou Xuan was put in shackles, Zhong Yu was appointed as the Minister of Justice. Zhong Hui, who did not know Xuan at first, became close to him. Xuan said, "Although I am a survivor of torture, I dare not obey your order!" He said nothing during the interrogation at first, but his expression did not change when he was about to be executed in the East Market.
Confucians have a palace of one acre, a room with round walls, a door with bamboo, a thatched door and a window with urns; they change their clothes and go out, and eat every day. They dare not doubt the emperor's answer, and dare not flatter the emperor's answer. They are like this in their official career.
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