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When mourning clothes are not yet complete, if there are condolences, then the person will cry, bow and dance for the position. When a senior official mourns for a senior official, he should wear a veil and mourning clothes; when a senior official participates in a funeral, he should also wear a veil and mourning clothes. If a senior official has a private funeral, then he should wear a veil and mourning clothes for his brother's minor funeral.
To congratulate a man on marrying, he said: "So-and-so made me know that you have a guest, which made me ashamed."
The general principles of all rituals are to follow the heaven and earth, follow the four seasons, follow the yin and yang, and follow human nature, so they are called rituals. Those who criticize them do not know where rituals come from. Rituals, good and bad, are different, and cannot be interrelated, which is derived from yin and yang. There are four rules for mourning, which change according to the situation, which is derived from the four seasons. There are grace, reason, moderation, and power, which are derived from human nature. Grace is benevolence, reason is righteousness, moderation is ritual, and power is knowledge. Benevolence, righteousness, propriety, and wisdom are all human nature.
When Gu Changkang painted people, he might not be able to paint their eyes well for several years. People asked why? Gu said: "The beauty of the body is irrelevant; the essence of the portrayal lies in the details."
Hua Xin and Wang Lang both took refuge on a boat. There was a man who wanted to seek refuge, but Xin refused. Lang said, "Fortunately, there is still time, so why not?" Later, the enemy caught up with him, and the king wanted to abandon the people he was carrying. Xin said, "This is exactly why I was suspicious in the first place. Now that he has entrusted himself to me, why should I abandon him so quickly?" So he took Zheng with him as before. The world uses this to determine the superiority and inferiority of Hua and Wang.
Sikong Xi was appointed as the Northern Palace, and Huangmen Wang went to Xi's gate to pay his respects, saying: "Coping with emergencies and military strategies are not his strong points." He then recited it endlessly. Xi Cang said to Jiabin: "When you came to pay your respects today, Ziyou's words were very rude and intolerable!" Jiabin said: "This is Chen Shou's comment on Zhuge Liang. People compare your family to Wu Hou, what else do you say?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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