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Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
Taifu Xie said to Wang Youjun: "In middle age, I am hurt by sorrow and joy. When I say goodbye to my relatives and friends, I feel sick for several days." Wang said: "I am in my twilight years, so it is natural for me to be like this. I rely on music and calligraphy. I am always afraid that my children will notice it and ruin my joy."
A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
The Master said: "The lower serves the upper, if the body is not upright and the words are not trustworthy, then the righteousness is not unified, and the actions are not of the same kind. "The Master said: "Words have things and actions have standards; therefore, when alive, the will cannot be taken away, and when dead, the name cannot be taken away. Therefore, a gentleman has much knowledge, and he keeps it; he has many ambitions, and he is close to them; he has profound knowledge, and he practices it briefly. "Jun Chen" says: "In and out, follow your teacher Yu, and all people have the same words. "The Book of Songs says: "The virtuous man and the gentleman, their manners are the same. '"
Even if there are delicious dishes, if you don't eat them, you don't know their taste; even if there are the ultimate truth, if you don't learn it, you don't know its goodness. Therefore, only after learning can you know your shortcomings, and only after teaching can you know your difficulties. Knowing your shortcomings, you can reflect on yourself; knowing your difficulties, you can strengthen yourself. Therefore, it is said that teaching and learning complement each other. "The Book of Changes" says: "Learning is half done." Is this what it means!
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