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Emperor Cheng of Han favored Zhao Feiyan, who slandered Ban Jieyu and cursed her, so he interrogated her. She said, "I have heard that life and death are determined by fate, and wealth and honor are determined by heaven. If I cannot be blessed by doing good deeds, what is the hope of doing evil deeds? If the ghosts and gods are knowledgeable, they will not accept the complaints of evildoers; if they are ignorant, what is the point of complaining? So I will not do it."
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
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