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Fan Xuanping was sitting with Jianwen, and he was about to surrender. He called Wang Changshi and said, "Please help me." Wang said, "This is beyond the power of a mountain!"
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Chen Ganxi was ill and entrusted his brothers to his brothers, and ordered his son Zunyi to say, "If I die, you must make a big coffin for me, and let my two maids hold me." When Chen Ganxi died, his son said, "It is not proper to bury him alive with the dead, let alone share the same coffin." He was not killed.
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