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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zhou Zhongzhi was drunk. He glared at Bo Ren and said, "You are not as talented as me, but you have gained such a great reputation!" After a moment, he raised a candle and threw it at Bo Ren. Boren laughed and said, "Anu's fire attack is definitely a bad idea!"
When Wang Zijing and his brothers met Duke Xi, they tiptoed to ask for his advice and were very polite to outsiders. When the guests died, they all wore chopsticks and high sandals, and had a disrespectful demeanor. When they were ordered to sit down, they all said, "We are busy and have no time to sit down." After they left, Xi Gong said with deep emotion, "If the distinguished guests were still alive, how dare you rats do this!"
When Yuan Yanbo was a minister of the Ministry of Personnel, Zijing wrote to Xi Jiabin: "Yanbo has come in, which is enough to revive my spirit. Therefore, I know that it is difficult for me to beat him, and I hope that he will be rejected a little and then he will be promoted again."
Always watch your young children and don't tell them lies; don't let little boys wear fur clothes. The foundation must be square. Not listening. If an elder helps him, he should hold the elder's hands with both hands. He carried a sword on his back and answered with his mouth covered.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
In ancient times, those who wanted to manifest the bright virtue in the world first governed their country. Those who wanted to govern their country first put their family in order. If you want to make your family in order, you must first cultivate yourself. If you want to cultivate yourself, you must first rectify your heart. If you want to rectify your heart, you must first be sincere in your intentions. If you want to be sincere in your intentions, you must first acquire knowledge. Acquiring knowledge lies in investigating things. After investigating things, knowledge is achieved. After knowledge is achieved, intentions are sincere. After intentions are sincere, hearts are rectified. After hearts are rectified, the body is cultivated. After the body is cultivated, the family is in order. After the family is in order, the country is governed. After the country is governed, the world is peaceful.
The mother of the king is not the lady, so the ministers do not wear clothes. Only the close ministers and the servants and carriages wear clothes, and only the king wears clothes. The duke is a minister and a minister. He wears mourning clothes when he is at home, and he does the same when he goes out. He wears the cap and sash when he is in charge of things. The senior officials are the same. For his wife, he should wear mourning clothes when he goes out, but not when he goes out.
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