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Zi Zhang came to see me after he had removed his mourning clothes. He gave me a zither, and played it in harmony. He played it and made a sound. He stood up and said, "I dare not fail to follow the rites established by the ancient kings."
Sincerity is self-realization, and Tao is self-Tao. Sincerity is the beginning and end of things, without sincerity, there is nothing. Therefore, a gentleman values sincerity. Sincerity is not only for self-realization, but also for the realization of things. To perfect oneself is benevolence; to perfect things is knowledge. It is the virtue of nature, and it is the way to combine the outside and the inside, so it is appropriate to take measures at the right time.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
When Liu Zhenchang first met Prime Minister Wang, it was a hot summer month. The Prime Minister used his belly to massage the chessboard and asked, "Why are you so tired?" After Liu left, someone asked, "What did you do when you met Lord Wang?" Liu said, "I didn't see anything unusual. I only heard him speak Wu dialect!"
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
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