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When the husband of an aunt or sister dies, and there are no brothers in the husband's party, let the husband's family members take charge of the funeral. The wife's party, even if they are close, do not take charge. If the husband has no family, then the front and back families, the east and west families; if there is none, then the village Yin will take charge. Some say: take charge, and attach to the husband's party.
Zengzi said: "At the grave of a friend, there is old grass, but no one should cry."
The husband of the mother and the wife of the uncle, the two wives mourn for each other, but the gentleman did not mention it. Some say that they cook together.
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
Yu Zhengxi launched a large-scale expedition against the Hu people. After the expedition was completed, he stopped at Xiangyang. Yin Yuzhang wrote a letter and gave him a folded-corner ruyi as a token of his appreciation. Yu replied in the letter: "I have obtained what I have obtained, even if it is a waste, I still want to make good use of it."
In all the etiquette of servants, they must give the servants the reins. If the servant is of a lower rank, then accept it; otherwise, then refuse. If the servant is of a lower rank, then stroke the servant's hand; otherwise, then hold him down. The carriage of guests does not enter the main gate. Women do not stand up to ride. Dogs and horses do not enter the hall. Therefore, gentlemen should wear yellow hair, lower than the rank of ministers, do not gallop when entering the country, and must bow when entering the village.
When holding the emperor's utensils, one should put on the balance, the king should balance, the great officials should rein it, and the scholars should carry it.
A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
Gu Sikong did not know his name, so he went to see Prime Minister Wang. Prime Minister Xiao Ji was tired of it. Gu thought about why he had to ask for his advice, and said to his companions, "I have often heard that Yuan Gongdao assisted Zhongzong and protected Jiangbei. He was a little uneasy, which made people gasp." The Prime Minister realized this and said to Gu, "This boy is very smart and sharp."
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