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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
If you are not sitting or standing, do not go to participate; if you are not standing, do not go beyond the middle.
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
The Master said: "Shun is a great wise man! Shun likes to ask questions and likes to investigate what others say, hides evil and promotes good, holds both ends, and uses the middle for the people. Is this what Shun is!"
Therefore, only after the behaviors of filial piety, brotherhood, loyalty and obedience are established, can one be a man; only after being a man can one govern others. Therefore, the sage kings valued etiquette. Therefore, it is said that the cap is the beginning of etiquette and the most important thing for good things. Therefore, the ancients valued the cap; the cap was performed in the temple; the temple was performed to respect things; respect things and dare not take the initiative to do things; do not take the initiative to do things, so they humble themselves and respect the ancestors.
Xi Jiabin was very happy when someone compared himself to Fu Jian.
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