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It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.

When the king marries his eldest son, he should have three carriages; when the duke marries his concubine, he should have one carriage; when the official marries his eldest son, he should have one carriage.

The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”

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、、The scholar followed the acting master, facing north, and stood on the south side of the western steps. The chief priest wore a crown, held a bundle of silk, and ascended from the western steps in a row, but did not go up to the hall, and ordered no one to cry. He prayed three times and announced: "So-and-so's son is born, I dare to announce it." He ascended, placed money on the eastern table of the coffin, cried, and descended. All the masters, ministers, officials, and scholars in the room cried but did not dance. After mourning for a while, they returned to their seats. Then they offered sacrifices. The junior minister ascended and held money. On the third day, all the masters, ministers, officials, and scholars returned to their original seats, facing north. The chief minister, the chief clan, and the chief priest all wore crowns. The junior teacher presented the son in mourning clothes; the priest went first, the son followed, and the chief clan members followed. Entering the door, the crying stopped, and the son ascended from the western steps. He faced north in front of the coffin. The priest stood at the southeast corner of the coffin. He prayed three times: "So-and-so's son, following the steward, dare to see you." The son bowed and cried. Zhu, the prime minister, the clan members, all the masters, the ministers, the officials, and the scholars cried and danced three times, and then went down to the east and turned around, all bare-chested, and the son danced, and the people in the room also danced three times. Wearing mourning clothes, holding a stick, and offering sacrifices, the prime minister ordered the priest to announce the name to the five sacrifices, mountains and rivers. Zengzi asked, "If the crown prince is born after the burial, what should be done?" Confucius said, "The prime minister and the clan leader will follow the prime minister to announce the name to the gods. After three months, the name will be announced to the gods, and the name will be announced to the gods, the ancestral temples, the mountains and rivers."

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