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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "

Notes from the Yama

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In the funeral of a king, if there is no small burial, he will leave as a guest of the duke; in the funeral of an official, if there is no small burial, he will leave at the order of the king; in the funeral of a scholar, he will leave without burial for an official. Whenever the host leaves, he goes barefoot, with his hem tied to his waist and his heart beat, and descends from the west steps. The king bows to the guest of state and the minister of honor at his seat; the minister, at the king's order, meets him outside the bedroom door; the messenger goes up to the hall to tell the death, and the host bows below; the scholar cries with the minister in person; he does not go against the door, the lady goes out for the lady of the king, the lady goes out for the lady's order, and the scholar's wife should not be buried, so the lady goes out.

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Even if the food for funerals is bad, it must satisfy hunger. It is not proper to stop work when hungry; it is also not proper to forget to mourn when full. A gentleman is worried about those who cannot see clearly, hear well, walk straight, and do not know how to mourn. Therefore, if a person is sick and drinks alcohol and eats meat, he will not be sick at the age of 50, and will not be sick at the age of 60. If he drinks alcohol and eats meat at the age of 70, it is all because he is suspected of death. In mourning, if someone calls him to eat, he will not go. For those who have done great deeds or less, after the funeral, they will go to the people, and people will eat it. Those who are his party will eat it, but those who are not his party will not eat it. For those who have done less deeds, they will eat vegetables and fruits, and drink water and soup, but no salt or cheese. If you cannot eat food, salt and cheese are fine. Confucius said: "If you have a sore on your body, you should bathe; if you have a wound on your head, you should wash your body; if you are sick, you should drink alcohol and eat meat. If you are sick, you will be sick, and a gentleman will not do it. If you die of sickness, a gentleman will say that you have no children. ”

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