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During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
Yin Zhongjun said: "Kang Bo has not yet learned my wisdom."
As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
Zi Zhang asked: "The Book of Documents says: 'Emperor Gaozong did not speak for three years, and he was happy when he spoke.' Is it true?" Zhongni said: "Why is it not true? In ancient times, when the emperor died, the crown prince listened to the prime minister for three years."
When Wei Jie was a child, he asked Le Ling about his "dream", and Le Ling replied, "It's just thinking." Wei said, "If you dream about something that is not connected between your body and your spirit, how can it be imagination?" Le said, "It is cause. I have never dreamed of riding a car into a rat hole, or pounding vegetables with an iron pestle. This is because there is no imagination and no cause." Wei thought about the "cause" for several days but could not find one, and thus he fell ill. I was pleased to hear it, so I ordered my driver to analyze it. Wei is slightly worse. Le sighed and said, "This child must not have any serious illness in his chest!"
Duke Wen liked to speak slowly, while Duke Bian was a man of courtesy and rules. When they reached Yu Gongxu, they had a big fight. Wen started to speak vulgarly, and Yu Gong said slowly: "Taizhen never speaks vulgarly all day long."
When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
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