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"Confucian scholars are approachable but not robbed; they can be approached but not forced; they can be killed but not humiliated. Their residence is not lewd, and their food is not humid; their mistakes can be slightly identified but not counted. There are such people who are resolute. Confucians have loyalty and trustworthiness as armor, propriety and righteousness as oars; they act with benevolence and live with righteousness. Even if there is a tyranny, they will not change their position. They are like this in their self-reliance.
When Shan Gong was about to go to select officials, he wanted to recommend Ji Kang; Kang wrote to him to break up with him.
Yu Xiaofu was the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat of Emperor Wu of Han. The emperor asked him calmly, "I have never heard of you making any offerings while you were my retainer." Yu's home was in Fuchun, near the sea. He told the emperor that he was looking forward to his spirit. He replied, "The weather is still warm. Fish and shrimps (Yu Qiang) cannot be brought in yet. I will make an offering to you soon." The emperor clapped his hands and laughed.
When Liu Yin went to meet Wang Changshi Xu Qingyan, Gou Zi was thirteen years old at that time, leaning against the bed and listening. After he left, he asked his father, "How is Liu Yin's speech compared to mine?" The chief secretary said, "His elegant voice and graceful words are not as good as mine; but he always defeats the enemy, and he is worse than me."
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
Nanyang Zong Shilin was a contemporary of Wei Wu, but Wei Wu despised him as a person and did not associate with him. When Wei Wu became Sikong and was in charge of government affairs, he calmly asked Zong, "Can I befriend you?" Zong replied, "The ambition of pine and cypress still remains." Shi Lin was dismissed for disobeying the emperor's order, and his position was not worthy of his virtue. Whenever Emperor Wen's brothers visited his door, they would bow alone under the bed. This was their etiquette for greeting.
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
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