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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
To think about the constitution and seek the good is enough to be famous, but not enough to move the masses; to follow the virtuous and understand the distant is enough to move the masses, but not enough to transform the people. If a gentleman wants to transform the people and establish customs, he must learn!
Duke Xian of Wei fled and returned to Wei. When he reached the suburbs, he was about to arrange the city with his followers before entering. Liuzhuang said, "If everyone guards the altar of the state, who will hold the reins and follow; if everyone follows, who will guard the altar of the state? If the king returns to his country and has private interests, isn't it wrong?" He did not arrange the city.
"Confucians do not serve the emperor above, nor do they serve the princes below; they are cautious and calm, and they value tolerance. They are strong and resolute in dealing with others, and they are knowledgeable and know how to obey. They are close to literature and sharpen their integrity. Even if the country is divided as a penny, they will not serve. This is their rule.
Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
Wang Da and Wang Gong once sat together with He Pushe. Gong was the prefect of Danyang at that time, and Dashi was the governor of Jingzhou. When the conversation was about to end, he urged everyone to drink a lot. Gong refused to drink, so Da forced him to drink. It became more and more painful, so they each tied their hands with their skirts. There were nearly a thousand people in Gong's mansion, and they were all called into the room. Although there were few left and right guards, they were also ordered to move forward, intending to kill each other. There was no plan for shooting, so they stood up and sat down in a row between two people, and then they were able to disperse. The ancients were ashamed of the so-called snobbish friendship.
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
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