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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
When Yin Yun left for the west, Xi Chao wrote to Yuan Hu: "Zi Si seeks good friends, so please entrust your kindness to me, and do not seek them with Kaimei." Yuan was known as "Kaimei" in the world, so Zi Jing wrote in his poem: "Yuan was born with Kaimei."
Wei Junchang was the chief secretary of Duke Wen, and Duke Wen liked him very much. They would always bring wine and dried meat to Wei, and sit cross-legged facing each other all day long. When Wei went to Wen and Xu, it was the same.
Xie Gong once went west with Xie Wan and passed by Wu County. A Wan wanted to go with Wang Tianxu, but the Taifu said, "I'm afraid he won't have to repay you, so he's not interested!" Wan still insisted, but the Taifu refused to change his mind, so Wan went alone. After sitting for a while, the king came in and thanked him with a very pleased look, thinking that he was being treated well. After a long time, he came out with his hair dishevelled, and did not sit down. He still sat on the couch in the middle of the courtyard, drying his hair in the sun, with an arrogant look on his face, and no intention of responding to the conversation. After thanking him, he returned. Before reaching the boat, he called out to the Grand Tutor. An said: "Achi will not do that!"
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Yin Zhongkan, the son-in-law of Dongyang, was also present. Fu Ya is good at reasoning and righteousness, and is on par with Zhong Kan in understanding all things. Yin questioned this, and Yang said, “After you have repeated it four times, you should be able to see the same thing.” Yin laughed and said, “You can get everything, why do you have to see the same thing?” After four times, they finally saw the same thing. Yin Zi sighed and said, "I am no different from you." He sighed for a long time for being a newcomer.
Grand Marshal Huan went to see Liu Yin and lay in bed, unable to get up. Huan Wan flicked Liu's pillow, causing the pill to shatter on the mattress. Liu got angry and stood up and said, "If you are such a lord, would you rather fight and win?" Huan looked very resentful.
The Master said: "Everyone says I know, but they are driven into the traps and snares, and no one knows how to avoid them. Everyone says I know, but they choose the moderate, but they cannot keep it for a month."
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