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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
People say: "Gou Zi is outstanding, while Ah Xing is peaceful and harmonious."
When Xie Gong heard that Yang Sui was good, he sent his regards and asked him to come, but he refused to go. Later, Sui became a doctor of the Imperial College. He met Xie Gong on business, and Xie Gong immediately appointed him as the chief clerk.
The Master said: "The one who has no worries is only King Wen! He took King Ji as his father and King Wu as his son. The father created it, and the son continued it. King Wu inherited the thread of King Da, King Ji, and King Wen, and wore a military uniform and ruled the world. He did not lose his body. The world's most famous name, respected as the Son of Heaven, rich in the four seas. The ancestral temples offer sacrifices to him, and his descendants protect him. When King Wu was the last to receive the mandate, Duke Zhou continued the virtues of Wen and Wu, and honored the great kings and the young kings with the rites of the Son of Heaven. This rite extends to the princes, officials, and common people. If the father is an official and the son is an official, he shall be buried with an official and offered sacrifices to an official. If the father is an official and the son is an official, he shall be buried with an official and offered sacrifices to an official. The mourning period extends to officials. The mourning period of three years extends to the Son of Heaven. The mourning of parents is the same for both the noble and the humble.
During the funeral of Confucius, Gong Xichi wrote a memorial: decorating the coffin and the wall, setting up the bamboo and the shawl, which was Zhou; setting up the Chong, which was Yin; setting up the silk and the flag, which was Xia.
When Liu Yu and his brothers were young, they were hated by Wang Kai, who once summoned them to stay overnight, intending to get rid of them silently. He ordered them to bury him in a mortar, and after that he would be harmed. Shi Chong was on good terms with Yu and Kun. When he heard that they were staying with Kai, he knew that something might happen, so he went to Kai at night to ask where the two Lius were. Kai had no choice but to hide the truth, and answered, "I am sleeping in the back room." Shi then went straight in, led him out, and left in the same carriage. As the saying goes: "Young man, why do you so easily accept someone's accommodation?"
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
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