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After the grave is completed, they return home, and dare not enter the room. They live in a lean-to, mourning for their parents outside; they sleep on straw and pillows, mourning for their parents in the ground. Therefore, they cry without time, serve diligently for three years, and their longing for their parents is the will of filial sons and the reality of human nature.

Duke Ai asked Confucius, "What is the great ritual? Why do gentlemen talk about ritual with such respect?" Confucius said, "I am a small man, not qualified to know ritual." The duke said, "No! I am talking about it." Confucius said, "I have heard that ritual is the most important thing for the people to live. Without ritual, there is no way to respect the gods of heaven and earth, no way to distinguish the positions of the ruler and the minister, the superior and the inferior, the old and the young, no way to distinguish the closeness of men and women, fathers and sons, brothers, and the relationship between relatives and strangers. A gentleman respects this and teaches the people with what he can, and does not abolish the festival. After things are accomplished, he will then prepare the carvings and ornaments to continue. After they are in compliance, he will talk about funerals, prepare the tripods and sacrificial vessels, set up the pork and basil, repair the ancestral temple, and worship at the right time and order the clan. Then he will make his house comfortable, dress modestly, and humble his palace. He will not carve the table on his car, nor carve the utensils, nor eat two different kinds of food, so that he can share the benefits with the people. The gentleman of the past practiced ritual. ”

Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."

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