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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Xie E and his companions discussed the merits and demerits of the Bamboo Grove, Xie Gong said, "Our predecessors did not praise or criticize the Seven Sages at first."
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
In ancient times, both the noble and the humble used sticks. When Shusun Wushu went to court, he saw a wheelman using a stick to lock the hub and pull the wheel. So there was a cane and then a stick. Chiseling a towel with rice was done by Gongyang Jia.
At first, Xie An lived in Dongshan, wearing commoner clothes. At that time, his brothers had already become rich and powerful, and they gathered at home, becoming a popular figure. Madam Liu jokingly said to An, "Shouldn't a real man be like this?" Xie scratched his nose and said, "I'm afraid I can't avoid it!"
Someone cried and said to Chang Yu: "It's as if a thousand-foot pine tree collapsed."
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