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The Master said: "The world and the country can be equal, the title and salary can be refused, and the sword can be stepped on, but the middle way is impossible."
A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
Xie Huer was a writer and once wrote the biography of Wang Kan. I don’t know what kind of person I am, so I ask Mr. Xie for advice. Xie Gong replied, "The descendants of the family were also treated well. Kan is the son of Lie, the aunt's brother of Ruan Qianli, and Pan Anren is a middle-class man. As Anren's poem says, 'Your son is close to your aunt, and my father is only my uncle.' He is Xu Yun's son-in-law."
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Xie Jingzhong's daughter married Wang Xiaobo'er, and the two men loved each other very much. Xie was appointed as Chief Clerk of the Grand Tutor, but was dismissed. The king then appointed him as Chief Clerk and gave him charge of Jinling County. The Grand Tutor had already framed Xiaobo and did not want him to have a chance to apologize, so he sent him back to be his advisor. Outwardly it appears to be in a state of tension, but in reality it is in a state of disarray. After Xiao Bo was defeated, the Grand Tutor went around the East Palace City and dispersed. His subordinates all stood at the South Gate to wait for him and pay him respects. At that time, he said to Xie: "Wang Ning has a conspiracy, and it is said that you are his plan." Xie Zeng showed no fear, and replied with his hu tablets: "Le Yanfu once said: 'Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?'" The Grand Tutor liked his answer, so he raised his glass to persuade him, saying: "So you are better! So you are better!"
When Xie E and his companions discussed the merits and demerits of the Bamboo Grove, Xie Gong said, "Our predecessors did not praise or criticize the Seven Sages at first."
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