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The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"

The senior officials lower their concubines’ sons, and their grandchildren do not lower their fathers. Senior officials do not preside over the mourning of scholars. There is no mourning for the parents of the loving mother. If the husband is the descendant, his wife is the great merit of the uncle and aunt. If the scholar is buried with the senior officials, the sacrifice is changed. If the stepfather does not live with him, he must live with him once. There is no master descendant. Sharing wealth and offering sacrifices to the ancestors is considered living together; if there is a master descendant, it is considered living separately. Those who mourn for their friends should face south to the right outside the door. Those who are buried with their parents do not use divination to predict their house. Scholars and officials cannot be buried with princes. They can be buried with their grandfathers. For scholars and officials, their wives are buried with their aunts and grandparents, and their concubines are buried with their grandparents. If they die, the first and second sons can be buried with them. They must be buried according to the order of the ancestors. Princes cannot be buried with the emperor. The emperor, princes, and officials can be buried with scholars.

When he descends, he puts on his shoes and sits, and he has countless cups. The etiquette of drinking is not abandoned in the morning and in the evening. When the guest leaves, the host bows and sees him off, and the etiquette is finally completed. I know that he can make the banquet peaceful and not chaotic.

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Countryside Qi Nong

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When Lezheng Zichun's mother died, he did not eat for five days. He said, "I regret it. Since my mother didn't know my feelings, how can I use my feelings!"

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Disobey The dukes of the great officials do not wear the mourning caps. The mourning caps have stripes to distinguish good and bad luck. The three-year-old white caps also have stripes and are sewn on the right. Minor merits and below wear left. The mourning caps have tassels. Great merits and above wear loose belts. The court dress is 15 liters, half of which is removed and the mourning caps are worn; adding ash is tin.

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Zhi Daolin first came from the east and lived in Dong'an Temple. Wang Changshi had a meticulous plan and had written a brilliant essay. When he talked with Zhi about it, he could not quite get along with him. Wang Xuzhi wrote several hundred words, claiming that they were full of famous theories and extraordinary writings. Zhi said slowly, "I have not seen you for many years, and you have made no progress in your righteousness." Wang was ashamed and left.

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Xie Huer was a writer and once wrote the biography of Wang Kan. I don’t know what kind of person I am, so I ask Mr. Xie for advice. Xie Gong replied, "The descendants of the family were also treated well. Kan is the son of Lie, the aunt's brother of Ruan Qianli, and Pan Anren is a middle-class man. As Anren's poem says, 'Your son is close to your aunt, and my father is only my uncle.' He is Xu Yun's son-in-law."

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In ancient times, the seams of the hat were shrunk, but now, the seams are horizontal; so the hat of mourning is auspicious, which is not the ancient way. Zengzi said to Zisi: "Ji! When I was in mourning for my parents, I did not drink water for seven days." Zisi said: "The ancient kings established the rituals, those who passed by should bow down to reach it, and those who did not reach it should stand on tiptoe to reach it. Therefore, when a gentleman is in mourning for his parents, he should not drink water for three days, and he can only stand up after being caned." Zengzi said: "If small merits are not taxed, then distant brothers will never mourn, is that right?"

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