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Duke Ai asked Confucius, "What is the great ritual? Why do gentlemen talk about ritual with such respect?" Confucius said, "I am a small man, not qualified to know ritual." The duke said, "No! I am talking about it." Confucius said, "I have heard that ritual is the most important thing for the people to live. Without ritual, there is no way to respect the gods of heaven and earth, no way to distinguish the positions of the ruler and the minister, the superior and the inferior, the old and the young, no way to distinguish the closeness of men and women, fathers and sons, brothers, and the relationship between relatives and strangers. A gentleman respects this and teaches the people with what he can, and does not abolish the festival. After things are accomplished, he will then prepare the carvings and ornaments to continue. After they are in compliance, he will talk about funerals, prepare the tripods and sacrificial vessels, set up the pork and basil, repair the ancestral temple, and worship at the right time and order the clan. Then he will make his house comfortable, dress modestly, and humble his palace. He will not carve the table on his car, nor carve the utensils, nor eat two different kinds of food, so that he can share the benefits with the people. The gentleman of the past practiced ritual. 鈥

The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. 鈥




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