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》 says: "Filial sons are not lacking." Confucius said: "To be harmonious with the party of parents can be called filial. Therefore, the gentleman uses harmony to unite the clan." The Book of Songs says: "This makes brothers more than enough; not to be so, brothers will be more friendly."
The head of the five officials is called Bo: this is the official position. Those who are excluded from the emperor are called the emperor's officials. Those with the same surname as the emperor are called uncles; those with different surnames are called uncles. They call themselves the emperor's elders in front of the princes, and they are called dukes in other places; they are called lords in their own countries.
Zixia lost his son and lost his sight. Zengzi expressed his condolences and said, "I have heard that when a friend loses his eyesight, he should cry for him." Zengzi cried, and Zixia also cried, saying, "Oh, God! I am innocent." Zengzi said angrily, "Shang, how can you be innocent? I served the Master with you between the Zhu and Si Rivers, and retired to live on the Xihe River until I was old. The people of the Xihe River suspected you of the Master, which was your first sin; you lost your parents, and the people did not know about it, which was your second sin; you lost your son and your eyesight, which was your third sin. And you said you were innocent!" Zixia threw his staff and bowed, saying, "I was wrong! I was wrong! I have been living alone for a long time."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.
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