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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
Zhongni's ancestors followed Yao and Shun, and established the constitution of Wen and Wu: above the law of heaven, below the water and soil. It is like the heaven and earth that hold everything and cover everything, like the four seasons running in an alternating manner, like the sun and the moon shining in succession. All things grow together without harming each other, and the ways run parallel without contradicting each other. Small virtues flow, and great virtues cultivate. This is why heaven and earth are great.
From benevolence to relatives, the order is up to the ancestors; from righteousness to ancestors, the order is down to the ancestors. Therefore, the way of human beings is to be close to relatives. Respecting the ancestors means respecting the clan, respecting the clan means gathering the clan, gathering the clan means the ancestral temple is strict, the ancestral temple is strict, the land is valued, the land is valued, the people are loved, loving the people means the punishment is moderate, the punishment is moderate, the people are at peace, the people are at peace, the money is sufficient, the money is sufficient, all the aspirations are fulfilled, all the aspirations are fulfilled, the rituals and customs are followed, and the rituals and customs are followed, and then there is joy. The Book of Songs says: "If you do not show yourself, you will not be disgraced by others." This is what it means.
When Yu Zhigong was the governor of Jingzhou, he presented a feather fan to Emperor Wu. Emperor Wu suspected that it was an old item. Liu Shao, the imperial attendant, said: "When the cypress beams and clouds are constructed, the craftsmen are first placed under them; when the pipes and strings are playing, the bells and Kui are the first to hear the sounds. Zhigong presented the fan because it was good, not new." Empress Yu heard this and said: "This person should be by the emperor's side."
Wang Jing was poor when he was young, and later he rose to the position of 2,000 official officials. His mother said to him, "You were born in a poor family, and now you have risen to the position of 2,000 official officials. Is this enough?" Jing was of no use. He was the Secretary of State and helped Wei, but was disloyal to Jin and was captured. He wept and said goodbye to his mother, "I have not obeyed your command until today!" His mother showed no sadness at all, and said to him, "As a son, you should be filial, and as a minister, you should be loyal. You are filial and loyal, so how can you fail me?"
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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