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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Establishing power and measurement, examining articles, changing the calendar, changing the color of clothes, distinguishing emblems, different tools, and different clothes, these are what he obtains and changes with the people. There are some things that cannot be changed: loving one's relatives, respecting the elders, and distinguishing between men and women. These are things that cannot be changed with the people.
A bundle of money: a bundle of five liang, two and five qian. When a woman meets her uncle and aunt, brothers, aunts and sisters, she should all stand in the hall, facing west and facing north, which means she has met them. When she meets her fathers, each goes to his own bed. Although a woman is not married, she will wear a hairpin at the age of twenty, and the ceremony will be performed. The woman will follow the ceremony. When she is married, she will curl her head.
Zeng Zi asked: "How can the sacrifice not be performed?" Confucius said: "I heard that in a minor auspicious event, the host performs the sacrifice without offering sacrifices, and offers sacrifices to the guests, but the guests do not raise them. This is the etiquette. In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu performed sacrifices and offered sacrifices to the guests, which was not etiquette; Duke Xiao of Lu performed a major auspicious event, but did not offer sacrifices, which was also not etiquette. "
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