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After the grave is completed, they return home, and dare not enter the room. They live in a lean-to, mourning for their parents outside; they sleep on straw and pillows, mourning for their parents in the ground. Therefore, they cry without time, serve diligently for three years, and their longing for their parents is the will of filial sons and the reality of human nature.
Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
He Huqi's younger brother wanted to avoid the world because of his noble sentiments, but Huqi persuaded him to take up an official post. He replied, "I am ranked fifth, why should I reduce the number of cavalry?"
When Ruan Xuanzi had a good reputation, the Grand Commandant Wang Yifu saw him and asked, "Are the teachings of Laozi and Zhuangzi similar or different from those of the sages?" Ruan Xuanzi replied, "There may be no similarities." The Grand Commandant was pleased with his words and appointed him as an official. People in the world call him "three-language official". Wei Jie mocked him and said, “One word can refute it, why bother with three?” Xuan Zi said, “If he is respected by the world, I can refute him without saying a word, why bother with one word?” So they became friends.
Only when the emperor mourns, people of different surnames cry. Duke Ai of Lu mourned Confucius, saying: "Heaven does not spare the old, and no one will give me a position. Alas, my father!" When a large county was destroyed, the dukes, ministers, officials, and scholars all wore their caps and cried in the great temple for three days, but the king did not raise the flag. Some said: The king raised the flag and cried in front of Hou Tu. Confucius hated people crying in the wild. Those who have not yet taken office dare not tax people; if they tax people, they should follow the orders of their fathers and brothers. Scholars should prepare themselves and dance morning and evening. They should wear mourning clothes for auspicious occasions, and they should mourn in the same month and move to the next month for music. The king has a gift of cloth to scholars.
During the time of Lord Xie, many soldiers fled and most of them escaped to Nantang and boarded the boats. Some people wanted to search for them at a certain time, but Xie Gong refused, saying, "If we don't allow these people to stay, how can we build a capital city?"
In the case of parents' funeral, after the funeral, people cry, and the pillars, lintels and screens are cut, and do not wear sackcloth or bees; after a period of time, a small funeral is held, people live in a whitened room, and sleep on mats; after another period of time, a big funeral is held, people live and sleep again; in the middle of the month, people mourn, and use a bed.
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