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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
The Master said: "Foolish and self-righteous, lowly and self-centered, born in this world, go against the ancient ways: such people will bring disaster to themselves." If you are not the Son of Heaven, you cannot discuss rituals, establish systems, or examine texts. Today, the world has the same track for vehicles, the same writing, and the same ethics. Even if you have the position, if you do not have the virtue, you dare not create rituals and music; even if you have the virtue, if you do not have the position, you dare not create rituals and music. Confucius said: "I explained the Xia rituals, but Qi was not enough to prove it. I learned the Yin rituals, and Song still has them. I learned the Zhou rituals, and now I use them, so I follow Zhou."
Wang Anfeng suffered hardships, but he still had an extraordinary character. Pei Ling went to offer condolences and said, "If grief can really hurt people, Jun Chong will surely be criticized for destroying his character."
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
Han Shou was handsome, so Jia Chong appointed him as an official. Whenever Chong had a party, Jia's daughter would look through the green jade and see Shou, and she would be attracted by him. Always keep your thoughts in mind and express them in poetry. Later, the maid went to Shou's house and told him everything, and also said that the girl was radiant and beautiful. Shou was moved when he heard this, so he asked his maid to secretly communicate with him. Go there and stay at the appointed time. Shou Qiao was extremely agile and he climbed over the wall and entered the house without anyone knowing. Since then, Chong realized that Nu Sheng was wiping herself and her words were different from usual. Later, when he met with other officials, he heard that the shou had a strange fragrance, which was a tribute from foreign countries. If one person ate one chopstick, he would be able to eat it for months. I thought that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty only gave this incense to myself and Chen Qian, and no other family had this incense. I suspected that Shou had an affair with a girl, but the walls were heavy and the doors were steep. How could she have gotten there? He then made an excuse that there was a thief and ordered people to repair the wall. The envoy replied, "The rest is normal, except for the northeast corner where there seem to be traces of people. And the wall is too high for people to climb over." Chong then called the maids on either side of the girl for questioning, and they told him the situation. He kept it a secret and married his daughter to Shou.
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