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The Path of a Daughter

Zilu said, "How sad it is to be poor! There is nothing to take care of him when he is alive, and nothing to do with his death." Confucius said, "To eat beans and drink water to the fullest is filial piety; to hide one's head and body, to return to bury without a coffin, and to weigh the property is courtesy."

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Confucius said: "I ate at Shao Shi and was full, and Shao Shi fed me with courtesy. When I offered sacrifices, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food is not enough for offerings.' When I ate, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food, I dare not hurt my son.'"

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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.

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Zeng Zi asked, “The ministers and officials will prepare the corpse for the Duke, and they will receive the funeral rites overnight, but there is mourning in the mourning clothes. What should we do?” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out, it should be kept in the palace to wait for the funeral. This is the etiquette.” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out with a hat and a crown, the ministers, officials, and scholars should all get out of the way. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner and must be led in front.” Zixia asked, “Is it the etiquette that the mourning period of three years is over and there is no need to avoid the funeral rites? Was there a supervisor at the beginning?” Confucius said, “The three-year mourning period of the Xia Dynasty was over, and the funeral rites were held after the funeral. The Yin people held the funeral rites after the burial. The Records says, ‘A gentleman does not deprive others of their relatives, and one should not deprive them of their relatives.’ Is this what it means?” Zixia said, “There is no need to avoid the funeral rites, is it not? Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say that Duke Boqin of Lu did it for a purpose. I don't know who is following the benefit of the three-year mourning period now!"

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When Confucius was in auspicious days, he played the zither for five days but couldn't make any sound, and played the sheng for ten days.