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It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. 鈥 He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.

When attending the funeral of the mother, face west and cry until he is exhausted, pull up the hair and bare the body, go down to the east of the hall and take the seat, cry to the west, dance, wear a mourning robe and take off the mourning robe in the east of the order, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before. The ritual of visiting one鈥檚 father is to cry again without tying up one鈥檚 hair. When a woman attends a funeral, she ascends from the east steps, goes to the east, sits facing west, cries out her sorrow, wears her hair in the east bun, takes the throne, and dances with the host. A woman who attends a funeral does not attend the funeral, but goes to the tomb first, sits facing north, cries out her sorrow. The host is waiting for her, so she sits on the left side of the tomb, and the woman on the right side of the tomb. After she finishes her mourning, she ties up her hair, takes the host鈥檚 seat in the east, wears a mourning sash and a belt, cries out her sorrow, pays respect to the guest, returns to her seat, finishes her dance, and the attendant announces that the matter is complete. Then she wears a crown and goes home, enters the door on the left, faces north. After crying out loud, the host will tie up his hair and bare his clothes, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him and dance; and see the guest off as before. All the host's brothers will go out, and when they leave, they will stop crying, and the attendant will tell them to take their turn. After crying again, the host will tie up his hair and dance; after crying for the third time, the host will tie up his hair and dance again. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, the attendant will tell them that the matter is over. For the mother, who is different from the father, one part of the hair is tied up, and the rest is exempted from the funeral, and the rest is the same as the funeral of the father.




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