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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Zhi Daoling and Yin Yuanyuan were both in Xiangwang Xu. The King of Xiang said to the two men, "You can try to have a conversation with them. Your talents and natures are probably as solid as those of the two states of Yao and Han, so you better be careful!" Zhi started to act, but then he changed his tune and kept his distance. After a few conversations, he unknowingly entered into their mystery. The Prince of Xiang stroked his shoulder and said with a smile: "This is his victory. How can we argue with him?"
Yang Bing served as a military officer of Fujun Army. He died young and had a good reputation. Xiahou Xiaoruo wrote a narration for it, praising and mourning it highly. Yang Quan was the Yellow Gate Minister, and sat beside Jianwen. The emperor asked, "Xiahou Zhan was an outstanding figure in the creation of Yang Bingxu. Who are you? Do you have any descendants?" Quan replied with tears in his eyes, "My late uncle Lingwen was famous at an early age, but he had no heir. Although his name spread throughout the world, his descendants will never be born in this holy world." The emperor sighed for a long time.
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
In the past, King Zhou of Shang caused chaos in the world, and he dried the ghost marquis to entertain the princes. So Duke Zhou assisted King Wu to defeat King Zhou. After King Wu died, King Cheng was young and weak, so Duke Zhou took the throne of the emperor to rule the world; in the sixth year, he met with the princes in the Mingtang, made rituals and music, and issued measurements, and the world was greatly convinced; in the seventh year, he handed over the government to King Cheng; King Cheng regarded Duke Zhou as having made great contributions to the world, so he enfeoffed Duke Zhou in Qufu, with an area of 700 li, 1,000 chariots, and ordered Duke Lu to worship Duke Zhou for generations with the rituals and music of the son of heaven.
When Zhou Jun was the governor of Andong, he went hunting and encountered a rainstorm, so he passed by Li's family in Runan. The Li family is wealthy, but the man is not around. There was a girl named Luoxiu. Upon hearing that there was a distinguished person outside, she and a maidservant slaughtered pigs and sheep inside and prepared food for dozens of people. They did everything very carefully and no sound of anyone was heard. He secretly observed her and saw a girl with an extraordinary appearance, so Jun asked her to be his concubine. My father and brother don’t allow it. Luoxiu said: "Our family is ruined, why should we cherish a daughter? If she marries into a noble family, it may be of great benefit in the future." Her father and brother agreed. Then the brothers Bo Ren were born. Luo Xiu said to Bo Ren and others: "The reason why I humble myself and serve as a concubine in your family is for the sake of our family. If you don't become a close relative of my family, I will not cherish the rest of my life." Bo Ren and others obeyed her orders. As a result, Li was able to enjoy a good fortune during his lifetime.
Yu Yuanke went to see Sun Jian. On duty, he saw Qi Zhuang outside. He was still young, but had a spirit. Yu asked him, "Where is Sun Anguo?" He answered, "He is at Yu Zhigong's house." Yu laughed and said, "Sun Anguo is so successful that he has a son like this!" He answered again, "He is not as careful as Yu Anguo." When he returned, he said to others, "I won because of this, so I can call my father's name again."
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