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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
Wang Junfu once blamed a woman for not wearing the remaining robes, so she stayed in her room with her chopsticks closed and did not allow anyone to go out. As a result, he was hungry for days and was lost, not knowing where to go. Later, due to the combination of fate, he was on the verge of death and was finally able to get out.
The number of counts depends on where they sit. The number of chips is five in the room, seven in the hall, and nine in the courtyard. The length of the chip is two inches. The pot: the neck is seven inches long, the belly is five inches long, and the diameter is two and a half inches; it can hold five liters. The pot is filled with small beans, so that the arrows can jump out. The pot is two and a half arrows away from the mat. The arrows are made of thorns, and the skin is not removed. Lu ordered his disciples to say goodbye: "Don't be arrogant, don't stand upside down, don't speak too much; standing upside down and speaking too much is a regular rank." Xue ordered his disciples to say goodbye: "Don't be arrogant, don't stand upside down, don't speak too much; those who do this will float."
From benevolence, leading relatives, and going up to the ancestors, it is called light. From righteousness, leading ancestors, and going down to the ancestors, it is called heavy. One is light and the other is heavy, and the meaning is so.
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
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