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The ceremony of shooting at the betrothal is the greatest ceremony. It is performed when the weather is bright, and the ceremony is completed when the day is almost up. It cannot be performed without a strong person. Therefore, a strong person will perform the rites. When the wine is clear, people will not dare to drink when they are thirsty; when the meat is dry, people will not dare to eat when they are hungry; when the day is not over, people will be solemn and upright, and will not dare to be lazy. To complete the rites, to correct the ruler and his subjects, to be close to fathers and sons, and to reconcile the old and the young. This is difficult for ordinary people, but gentlemen perform it, so it is called having rites; having rites is called having righteousness, and having righteousness is called courage. Therefore, what is valuable in courage is that it can establish righteousness; what is valuable in establishing righteousness is that it has rites; what is valuable in having rites is that it performs rites. Therefore, what is valuable in courage is that it dares to perform rites and righteousness. Therefore, a brave and strong person, when there is no trouble in the world, uses it in propriety and righteousness; when there is trouble in the world, uses it in victory. If used in victory, there will be no enemy; if used in propriety and righteousness, there will be order and harmony; no enemy outside, and order and harmony inside, this is called great virtue. Therefore, the sage king values 鈥嬧媌ravery and strength in this way. If bravery and strength are not used in propriety and righteousness to win, but used in fighting, it is called chaos. When punishment is carried out in the country, those who are punished are chaos. In this way, the people will be governed and the country will be safe.
The Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淲hen a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. 鈥漈he Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by completing his parents?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淎 gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents鈥 name!鈥 Confucius then said, 鈥淚n ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.鈥
What is the three-year mourning period? It is said that it is to be established according to the feelings, so as to decorate the group, distinguish the relatives and the relatives, and practice the rules, but it cannot be increased or decreased. Therefore, it is said that there is no way to change. The wound is big and the time is long, and the pain is severe and the recovery is slow. The three-year mourning period is established according to the feelings, so as to be the most painful. Cutting the mourning clothes and wearing a stick, living in a lean-to, eating porridge, sleeping on straw and pillows, is to decorate the most painful. The three-year mourning period ends in twenty-five months; the grief is not over, the longing is not forgotten, but the mourning is ended in this way. Isn鈥檛 it that there is a limit to sending off the dead and a limit to reviving the living? All living creatures between heaven and earth, with blood and breath, must have knowledge, and all sentient creatures know how to love their own kind. Now, if a large bird or beast loses its flock, after a month or more, it will return to its hometown, fly back and forth, cry, hesitate, and then leave. Even small birds, such as sparrows, still chirp for a while before leaving. Therefore, no one with blood and breath knows better than humans, so humans love their relatives until death. If you are with a person who is obsessed with adultery, he will forget about his death in the morning and follow him in the evening, which is no better than birds and beasts. How can they live together without chaos? If you are with a gentleman who is well-mannered, the three-year mourning period will be completed in twenty-five months, like a team of horses passing through a gap, but it will continue, which is endless. Therefore, the ancient kings set up the middle and set rules for them, so that they can form a culture and reason, and then they will let it go.
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