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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Someone asked Yuan Shizhong, "How does Yin Zhongkan compare to Han Kangbo?" He replied, "In terms of reason and righteousness, it is hard to tell who is better or worse; but in the quiet courtyard, there are still famous scholars, and Yin is not as good as Han." Therefore, Yin wrote a eulogy: "Jingmen is closed during the day, and the idle courtyard is peaceful."
Someone asked the scholar, "What's your old surname? " He answered, "Wu Fujun is the mature and wise king of the Ming Dynasty. Zhu Yongchang is the most virtuous man in managing things and has a high reputation in the selection of officials. Yan Zhongbi is the crane singing in Jiugao and the white colt in the empty valley. Gu Yanxian is the zither with eight tones and the dragon with five colors. Zhang Weibao is the lush pine in the cold winter and the ethereal light in the dark night. Lu Shiheng and Shilong are the swans that circle and the drums that are waiting for the hammer. All these gentlemen: use the big pen as a hoe and paper as a fertile field. Use mystery as crops and morality as a good harvest. Use conversation as brilliance and loyalty as treasures. Write articles as brocade and contain the Five Classics as silk. Silent sitting is like a seat and Zhang Yirang is like a curtain. Practice benevolence and righteousness as a house and cultivate morality as a large house."
Aigong said, "May I ask about Confucian conduct." Confucius replied, "I can't finish counting them all. If I count them all, I will stay. I can't finish them even if I change my servant."
A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
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